Dear Alora,
I heard you've been struggling with prayer? You have a lot to pray about, but when it's time to pray, it's like you just can't find the right words. Who says you need the right words? Is it the One who knows you more than you know yourself, who knit you in your mother's womb, the One who knows all things without wondering or searching... is it Him you're trying to impress?
Sweetie, you don’t need the right words. Just come as you are and communicate with your Father. He will supply the words.
Recently, I had a meltdown. I was tired and overwhelmed, and I didn’t feel like I could pray, though I really wished I could because it had been a while since I prayed 'to my satisfaction.' So, I wept and wailed. I couldn't care less if my neighbors heard me or not.
Then I felt a sense of relief, wiped my face, and started laughing—only God knows why.
"God's got me. I've got this. I can do this," I thought. And then I went to sleep.
Later that morning, I was speaking with the Holy Spirit and said, "I'm sorry I couldn't pray again this morning."
"But you prayed, and you're praying again," He said so graciously. "You think those tears would go to waste? God heard your prayers."
You’d think I would have gone on my knees to worship God for His graciousness. Instead, I said, "I know You heard me, and I know we communicate everyday, but I just don’t feel like I pray enough."
This time, I didn’t get a reply—just a stare! That "what will I do with this girl?" kind of stare. Because I do this often. I actually wrote about this last year—How to Pray Well.
The reason we struggle with prayer is that we have a distorted definition of it.
There are many advice on prayer, but it is important you pay more attention to walking with God baring in mind that the person giving that advice is not in the same situation as you, neither are they on the same level of growth.
People say God is like a father, but they really should add some context. The distance between my father and me growing up was so wide a large truck could easily pass through.
Alora, do you know what I’m talking about?
We had to rehearse our lines carefully every time we needed anything from my Dad. Don’t get me wrong, I love my Dad—he’s an amazing man. He just wanted us to learn to speak proper English, so if you made a mistake, you’d have to go back, get it right, and then come and tell him what you wanted.
I don’t know if there are Nigerian homes where children can sit with their fathers, whether they have something to say or not, or where children can play with their fathers without it being seen as disrespectful...
But remember, God is not an African parent.
He is also your friend—He’s down-to-earth, kind, full of grace and compassion. He doesn’t want you to act perfect. He wants you to be vulnerable so He can help you heal and grow.
So, darling, stop overthinking and go to God right now, and as often as you feel the need to because He’s always there and always has time for you.
You already know, I wrote this with love, from me to you 😘
See you soon.